WASHINGTON AND NEW YORK – 45 Drumpf, a subsidiary of the Donald J. Trump Organization, and McRyan Hill Management Consultants Inc. announced today a joint marketing and management arrangement that will provide executive and legislative services to the American people. The partnership will do business as the Donald J. Trump Presidency.
The term of the agreement is four years with a one-time renewal of an additional four years.
“America is Great again and I haven’t even taken office.” 45 Drumpf Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Donald J. Trump tweeted announcing the deal. “This frees me from stupid, boring details and policy minutia. Now I can focus on what I do best for the American people which is talk about myself.
“Best president ever! Lincoln or FDR could never have cut this type of deal.”
Appearing at a breakfast reception before the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange where McRyan went public, Speaker Paul Ryan was giddy.
“Today is a great day for Americans” Ryan gushed. “A minority of voters has delivered to the United States Congress the weak, disinterested, ineffective leader Republican legislators fantasize about.”
“All Donald has to do is market. McRyan will handle the day-to-day details of government. He’ll just have to sign whatever we put in front of him. No vetoes allowed.”
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Ryan’s partner, stood silently beside Ryan. Asked to comment about how eight-years of unrepentant obstructionism had finally delivered his dream president, McConnell maintained a flat line smile but permitted his watery eyes to sparkle in disbelief.
Terms of the agreement were not made public. However, one insider with the Donald J. Trump Presidency, who was not authorized speak publicly about the transaction, confirmed that it includes substantial monthly payments by McRyan to 45 Drumpf for use of the Trump likeness, name and imagery in its management services.
“The president-elect’s image has been carefully built on fear, bigotry, misogyny, lunacy and bullying. We won’t let his brand be diluted by career politicians without just compensation.”
(45 Drumpf is devoted to political satire and commentary. Any similarity between these essays and actual news would be a huge disappointment.)
45 Drumpf 